Always

Always was a promise.

Always was you and me.

Always was us.

What happened to our always?

I'm not a believer of forever because I think forever is perfect. Something without any flaws, something that stays, never changes and consistent. That doesn't exist right? Because the only thing that is constant in this world is change. Aren't forever and always the same thing? If that's the case, but why did I still promise my 'always'? It's not the heat of the moment nor just because this is what the other person wants to hear. But simply because I found the difference between forever and always.

When you say forever, it's two people promising the future and everything beyond that. Forever means holding onto the person as you approach the uncertainty of what comes next. It means that the two of you are willing to give each other endless opportunities to prove that happy endings do exist in real life. Forever is for two people and that's the complete opposite of always. Always is something that is consistent but changes in a long run. It stays but leaves. It's irony. But there's one obvious difference between these two. Always doesn't need a commitment.

I'm afraid of commitments partly because it might eat me up in the process but mostly because I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that the other person is not willing to return what I've offered or given. At first, I was afraid to share my always to anyone because they might take it for granted. But when you fall in love, you forget about all these fears and you hold onto one thing that gives you courage... And that is your desire to be happy. To find true happiness. I gave my always without hesitation. But in the end, here I am, empty.