To my almost lover

I wasn't looking for anything that day. But with a simple conversation, you stole my heart. I did not see that one coming but I must admit, after that moment, I can't help but think of what it is I'm feeling. I don't think it's normal because I don't find people interesting during first conversation but you actually stand out. I'm not the "crush" type of person either. I find someone attractive for a few seconds and after awhile, it's gone. As easy as that. Maybe there's really a first in everything. We reached the point that we talk everyday. I already know a lot about you but I can't help to feel the eagerness to get closer to you. I constantly catch myself thinking of you at 2 in the afternoon and even at 3 in the morning. I wait for your replies. If you forgot to text me back, I'd see myself composing a message just to start the conversation. People are teasing and pushing us to be together. I did see myself with you. I really thought we can be something more than what we have. I really felt that we were sharing something special. I felt that we were more than just friends. 

But maybe, all of those were just assumptions. Maybe you never really saw me as someone special. I found out that you can actually like a person and do so much effort just to get to talk and see this person. You are ready to step forward and take an extra mile for the person you like but... you never did that to me. You just took baby steps. Baby steps that led to nowhere. And right now, you're not even making an effort to talk to me again or to start a conversation. It feels like the way you look at me changed. Maybe you realized that I'm nothing to you. And I don't deserve this.

I deserve a boy who's willing to forget all his fears just to be with me. A boy who's going to be consistent. A boy who's going to look at me the same way everyday. A boy who's going to eat his pride just to talk to me. A boy who's ready to stop entertaining girls just to prove to me that I'm the only one. A boy who's going to be there for me when I had a bad dream. A boy who's going to take an extra mile just to see where this is going. And maybe, it wasn't you... or it's not you yet.